Breaking Sanity Ficlets
by Amadoni
Summary: A little dark. A little insane. Ficlets with tainted ideas of the Sess/Rin pairing.
1. Breaking Sanity

**Title: **Breaking Sanity

**Written for mf sanctuary: Week 3** / When love is not madness, it is not love

**Rating: **High T

**Word Count: **325

**Disclaimer: **I neither own nor profit from Inuyasha or its characters.

**Warnings**: Eating "human food," disturbing imagery

In madness, he would drink her flesh, drink her life, and maybe with it, her love. His more rationale side would never understand this. But this was not about his rationale side; and, this was not even about her, but the mystery that surrounded the girl. Eyes like hers should not act as if they hold the keys to forever. But somehow, he knew they did.

She didn't fight him, but neither did she encourage him. He knew that she would never resist him. They would call it blind loyalty. From time to time, the taiyouki would question who the real blind one here was. Her mortal blood should not have tasted so divine, godlike. Perhaps, that would make her his heaven and he her hell. Yet, no one should smile so if that were the truth.

In madness, drunk with it and with her, he would taste, break the skin, and hold her. It was as if her body would hold the ever elusive answer that he so desperately searched. Eventually though, the woman would embrace him. He then wondered who was holding who. Too late now, it did not matter. His questions held more importance. She was only human, he thought. Unfortunately, even his mind's eye knew_ that_ to be a lie.

In madness, he would make her cry, hurt, scream. Maybe then, it would deafen his own tormented soul. It was not enough.

In a point of clarity, he would leave her with her own kind. It was the kindest thing he could do; it was the kindest thing too late.

In madness, in need, he would return for her only to see the pyres of her ashes rise into the dimming sun. That which was his was his no more.

In madness, he would consume her, making her his again.

In madness, he would finally understand.

In madness, he knew that he loved and loved enough to have it destroy her.

_Finis _


	2. Being God

**Author's Note:**Written for the moonlight flower challenge: second time around/week 6

**Pairing:** Sesshomaru X Rin

**Being God**

Blood and death. Born from the moon; born from the air. The son of the bright golden star, the earth holds no boundaries for me.

Father was god, was power. Power was mine, my world, my everything. How quickly the memories became soiled with the earth. A childhood suddenly lost. I am blood and death. I rule the earth. Father hears me and says little, his back speaks more; Mother's soul silently weeps. I care not.

Father is law, and Father is dead. What he writes with claw and fang continues. The white hot blade weld by his lesser son carved the words and marked me flawed. Fallen. Foolish. Branded to the forever memory of my only mistake—no, my first mistake.

You, my last, my blessed torment, my hypocrisy personified.

You are neither god nor goddess. You are earth. You are born of seeds and grass and flowers, of things that will wilt and die in the sun and freeze beneath the moon—temporal child who dances among the zephyrs and considers them kindred and not foe, you are everything I am not.

The ground drinks fear and sprouts enmity and war. Yet, your blossoms no longer carry these. Your scent was dirt, blood, pain, death. Your body already contained what I sought to create in others. How strange.

A childhood lost by the fangs of wolves, I saw you and branded you as mine. A childhood regained by the fang of life, by the son of a star. How odd.

The bringer of blood and death has taken you back from the earth and its soiled inhabitants. I am god. Look how you worship me; look how the earth worships me.

I am power, and I rule over you. Now I too am law. The child of the stars and the child of the earth become one. Soon, I too will be dead.

All for you, my last mistake, my only redemption, Rin.


	3. Unknown Beginning

**Author's Note: **written for the moonlight flower week 5, baby steps prompt**  
**

**Warning: **Blood

**Unknown Beginning**

Cautiously, he took a step closer. She had never shown such uncertainty before as she did now. Trembling, terrified eyes took a small step back. He always knew that she was fragile, and so very very human. But this, no, he never could understand this. 

He lied to himself; he thought that she, forever the child, hadn't changed. But this proved otherwise. This blood proved otherwise—blood so very tainted with the scent of womanhood, of lost innocence. This was a woman who was not completely a woman—his instincts wanted to rectify that. 

"Rin."

"Sesshomaru-sama?"

"Come here."

She should leave; she should but won't. With tiny steps, her feet would lead her to her fate. 

One step. 

Two. 

Then three. 

More steady with each one. 

He extended his hand. She took it. From now on, everything would change. They both knew it; but, together, they stepped into the unknown.


	4. Red Realities

**Author's Note: **written for the moonlight flower week 10, Blood Ties**  
**

**Warning: **Blood with dark imagery and mild sexual content

**Red Realities  
**

Blood, she was covered in it.

A splattered canvas for a ravenous painter, she couldn't even claim to be white. The world had quit thoroughly stained her in its horrors of monsters and things that creep in the dark, things that mothers told stories about to keep their children good and away from danger.  
Monsters had fangs, claws, red eyes that burned your very soul that, if given the chance, would consume you whole. Dark creatures of the night who had walked beneath the full moon, they always waited just beyond the shadows.

But Rin was a good little girl, and like all good little girls, Rin would never walk in darkness and would always stay close to humans. Humans were safe; monsters were not.

There was so much blood, and she was covered in it.

It glistened beneath the moonlight and appeared black and smelled pungent, thick. Except…it wasn't her blood but theirs. The blood, that tied the mortal girl to the soft, the happy, and the warm and that sprang from primordial thoughts, was drained away. All that lingered was the air made of iron and the floor soaked with slick black that reflected pale shimmers. Life was lies. The creatures that creaked beneath the wood and tapped the panels outside were not the monsters in the stories but the humans who sought sinister glory.

Blood covered her.

The scents of fire and burning flesh possessed her. How could she have known that the remaining ashes symbolized such a fragile broken bond? Screaming to the heavens would not undo what had been done. No, screaming only brought the defilers towards you and not away.

In the darkness, evil could not find you; in the shadows, evil would walk past you and be unaware of how close he truly was to having you. Evil did not have claws, fangs, and red eyes, but he had teeth and fingers and eyes like so many others. There was no way to tell who he was and when he would come out—a stranger with the face of so many.

Blood…

And because she was covered in it, she would always be tied to him. A white creature resurrected her. The irony was that monsters called him evil. In a single hand, he carried her shivering soul away from the illusions of the light and into the depths of shadow. Now Rin will never claim to be white, because Rin will simply be good. And because she knows he does not kill without reason, she knows that he is not a monster—a spirit, yes, but never a monster.

Blood, and though she was not covered in it, he smelt it.

And because he knew that it was not the blood flowing out of fear but promises, he continued painting her body with soft words and warm touches. She was a perfect canvas. And if blood with its many layers was the medium to tie them together, so be it.


	5. Cursed

**Author's Note:**Written for the moonlight flower challenge: black magic/ week 18

**Pairing:** Sesshomaru X Rin

**Cursed**

He never actually attended her funeral, nor did he hear what was said. Words were never important to him. As for promises of always remembering her, well, he still believed them to be both foolish and weak. Rin is dead. Tenseiga has failed. There is nothing more to be said.

Life returns to how it should have been. Jaken sheds the tears that Sesshomaru never will. Ah-uh continue to search for their invisible rider only to slowly realize that invisible she remains.

It would be 200 years before he would speak of her again.

He whispers, "Rin," and nothing answers him. It is as he suspected. If false hope ever took bodily form, he would tear it to pieces, revive it, and tear it down again.

Unlike other mortals, Rin will never have a reincarnation. She has gone through too many unnatural cycles of human life.

He ponders his memories and idolizes his past glories. He slowly begins to realize that it was with her that he was most content. He is empty now. After 200 years, he finally admits to that fact alone.

Even as the world changed around him and being Taiyoukai, he was too powerful to fade, Sesshomaru slowly rationalized the impossible and believed that forever was a game. Gods be damned and fate too, he would have his mortal back!

In law, fate proclaimed her finished. In decree, gods set in stone her end. But Sesshomaru is lord. Like many with influence, he knows that laws can be broken and decrees be rewritten. There will be consequences. He cares not.

oOo

It is 1795. The day is hot, and the sea air brushes against his pale skin. It is in these god-forsaken Americas that he finds a soul mad enough to do that which will damn them both.

But he will have her again.

He waits at the edge of the cave as the old woman with dark skin and a curved back makes her way towards him. She knows that he is a demon and that what he requests will be the blackest magic she has ever conjured: bringing back the untainted soul of a child spirit. The saints will not be happy. Then again, she has her pact with the Black Man. Saints are the least of her worries.

"Are ya ready?"

"Hn" is his only acknowledgement.

"Geev me's yur hand den."

She takes his blood and walks into the dark cave by the sea. He follows.

oOo

Hours later, the spell was finalized. Only a flicker of light and the girl appeared. An anticlimax.

The witch leaves quickly knowing that the curse was taking hold.

Sesshomaru grabs Rin and breathes her in. She is exactly the same.

She does not know that she died or that her lifespan is now like his.

She does not know that he has changed.

She does not know that they can NEVER leave.

She does not know that they are forever cursed.

She. Does. Not. Know.


	6. Myth of the Moon

**Author's Note: **written for the moonlight flower week 24, Songfic: The song is called, "Space Dementia" by Muse. A special thanks to pseudohanyo for beta'ing.

**Warning: **mild sexual content

**Myth of the Moon  
**

She could give him forever and forever, a never ending dream of laughter, songs, and joy. She never broke her promises before now. Childish illusions faded into a frame so foreboding. There was only one name for it: Woman. He tried to ignore this change that both fascinated and frightened him. This girl was Woman. And it was through a woman that brought the greatest of his kind down. Even he remembered the myths of old; it was through a woman that perfection was lost, order dispelled, and power dissolved.

Danger.

_It gives me all I need  
And helps me co-exist with the chill  
You make me sick because I adore you so  
I love all the dirty tricks  
And twisted games you play on me_

He never initiated their first encounter. She did, ever so sly. First with a glance, an accidental touch, a whisper that tingled him to his core. He was centuries old. He had no need of female company. She burned him. And he did not pull away. He watched her and realized a simple truth: behind the facade of sunshine, youth, and innocence, there stood before him a forewarning.

She will be the death of me, he thought.

And still he did not pull away.

_Space dementia in your eyes and  
Peace will arise and tear us apart  
And make us meaningless again_

She always cried out first; she couldn't control herself. As for him, it only excited him more that she couldn't. He never once spoke, except to say,

"Look at me!"

She always did. Stars in her eyes, night in her hair, moon on her skin. Gods, she could break him like this! In a single moment of perfect bliss, he felt everything, nothing, eternity, and the forever she promised. She wasn't a liar, and he wasn't a fool. Let her be Woman; let her be Hell. Let the great Taiyoukai of the West fall, and fall again for her.

Nothing mattered here.

_Mmmm, yeah  
You'll make us want to die  
I'd cut your name in my heart  
We'll destroy this world for you  
I know you want me to feel your pain_

Days, weeks, months, years, decades. Stars fell from the sky. Night turned into day. The moon faded away and blackened.

Liar!

Fool!

Oh, she knew this would happen. He refused to think that it would. Body brittle. Voice hoarse. Skin like leather. Girl turned Woman turned Crone. It was disgusting. He was older in a single breath of his days than she was in all her life. Yet, the image spoke volumes otherwise.

He loved her enough to hate her; he loved himself enough to loathe his actions. While mortals followed the flow of time, he was anchored to it. Time never affected him, only the memories.

He was not a god, but he would not let her go. If she had to taste the bitterness of death, so would he. Once he was through with fate, powers, and gods... they would be together again.

And she would not be a liar; and he would not be a fool. He should have known she'd be a danger. She really was going to be the death of him. Ironically enough, he didn't seem to mind at all.

He had work to do; and, he very much doubted that he would return.

_Space dementia in your eyes and  
Peace will arise and tear us apart  
And make us meaningless again  
Ooooh..._

There is a myth of old: Of a mortal woman and an immortal man. In her soul, she carried the stars. And in her wake, his darkness followed. The moon was their home. At its fullest, she brought the light of the sun, of laughter and songs born of innocents. Darkness only made her shine the brighter.

And when the moon was lost in the sky, darkness covered the night. And all waited and searched for the girl; the woman. Yet, only the man could find her and keep her and make her shine brightest, forever.

Some called this perfection, the order of things, the powers that be. All this to him was meaningless, except her.

Finis 


	7. Little Flower

**Author's Note: **originally written for the moonlight flower week 23, lolita theme. Revised.

**Warning: **lolita; pedophilia

**Little Flower  
**

How can I explain this to a mortal mind, whose values are that of a Man--and I am anything but. They say that to be with you, a mere child, is sin, evil. Yet, compared to the centuries of my gazing, you will always remain thus: you now before me green, unbloomed is no different from your fruits at 20.

Here, I can break you, mold you, and make you into anything I desire. Little flower, you are mine since the day I cut death for you and like water gave you life.

Even now, as I cradle you in my arms, and the mere size of me covers you from the gaze of others, I can not help but be awed. With the lightest of pressures, I can snuff you out. My claws pressed against the veins of your essence and instantly you are gone. But with a moment's thought, I hesitant. You will live a day longer, a day closer to blooming. I have already decided the course of your youth. Regardless of the outcome, you will always be little and eventually whither away.

But not today.

Today, you are soft. Not a wrinkle, not a flaw. The taste of lingering childhood is nothing but perfection. There is so much more to this than you know!

How can I explain that your screams enthrall my most basic of instincts? I wish to tame you, Rin. I can not help it. Even when you cover your mouth and muffle the agony I put you through, even when your silent tears fall, I can not help it.

You are the most addictive of opiates. This human body, I must touch completely, taste fully, and feel that which is mine alone to possess. I will shape you. And your fruits will be my fruits, and your blossoms my doing. I need not enlighten you to my thoughts. Then again, you will never ask for an explanation of what I am and what you are to me. So fair, so young, my small companion of mortality.

"Come here."


End file.
